The Direct Cremation Con

“I’ve been thinking about my funeral.”

“Have you, Mum?”

“Yes. I don’t want one. But I do want this…”

So runs the chirpy patter on one of the current batch of TV ads for so-called “direct cremations.”

Pre-pandemic, most of us probably hadn’t even heard the expression, and even fewer would have considered this an option. It is estimated that in 2019, just three percent of cremations took place without a funeral and mourners. This figure rose to eighteen percent in 2021 and the same in 2022. Given the heavy promotion of the concept on TV, radio and even by leaflets in crematorium waiting rooms, this figure only seems set to rise.

One can certainly see the appeal. The very thought of a funeral can induce a peculiar form of dread - “no one likes them” as grandma states in the jolly cartoon.

Several companies established in recent years are now offering this - with names such as “Pure Cremation,” “Low Cost Funerals” and “Caring Cremations.” They may be owned by private equity corporations with no experience of, or empathy with, the particular needs and anxieties of the bereaved. They really are in it purely for the money! For example, in 2023 “Pure Cremation” was acquired by the private equity firm Epiris, obviously with a view to substantial dividends for its wealthy investors.

“Pure Cremation” run their own crematorium in Andover - no chapel or mourners of course. Other companies use existing facilities - usually booking early morning “slots” before the attended services of the day. These are typically referred to as “drop-offs”in the trade. The Westerleigh Group, with 37 sites across the UK, offers its own direct cremations under the separate banner of “Distinct Cremations” - possibly in an attempt to deflect the ire of established undertakers who may fear a loss to their own business.

Long-established funeral directors are now feeling constrained to offer this themselves as a lower-priced option.

In straitened times one can certainly appreciate the financial incentive here. With the average cost of a “basic” funeral in the UK estimated at £3953 in 2022, the no-frills and no-farewell package obviously has its appeal.

So has the traditional send-off had its day? Could it be that families and friends will be saved the sorrow and anguish of organising and attending a public ceremony that “no one wants?”

For the past thirteen years I have worked as an independent funeral minister and celebrant. During this time I have had the privilege of sharing in the support of families and individuals who have lost a loved one.

I know all too well that those experiencing the early stages of grief, so well documented in numerous studies since the seminal work of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in the late 1960s, require wise and sensitive support. Whilst the care given by family, medical professionals and counsellors is likely to be most significant, I have repeatedly been told that simply being able to chat and reminisce to the person who will lead the service provides a very real sense of release and comfort.

What does “direct cremation” say about the value we place upon human life? The major world religions have all affirmed, in their various and distinct ways, the inherent value of human life by the dignity they have accorded those who have died.

Islam has traditionally insisted upon a swift burial - usually within twenty-four hours of death - but with specific and carefully performed rituals including bathing and shrouding of the body, and set prayers to be offered whilst the body and mourners face Mecca.

Within Hinduism, a ceremony in the family home immediately after death is followed by cremation and a “Shraddha” ceremony to assist the soul of the departed in entering the next world.

In Christianity a variety of rituals have traditionally been followed, according to denominational preference. In Roman Catholicism the body would often lie in the family home for family and friends to pay respects. Within Protestant Reformed churches, an account of the person’s life would typically be accompanied by a presentation of the Christian gospel and of the hope of resurrection for the deceased.

Whilst eschewing religious content, Humanism has embraced the need for the affirmation and celebration of life. The British Humanist Association trains and provides celebrants to support families and lead an appropriate ceremony.

But “direct cremation” - what does this say about the value and dignity of human life? I think it can imply that life is cheap and dispensable. It constitutes a logical development of the treatment of death as being the “last taboo” - something that should be hidden away, dealt with, over and done with, as quickly as possible and with minimal involvement and investment from family and friends.

I have witnessed so-called “drop-offs” at my local crematoria. They invariably take place first thing in the morning or at the end of the day. It would not be uncommon to see two of three vans queuing up at the venue - sometimes whilst mourners for later funerals are already arriving. Typically two members of staff struggle to lift a cheaply-constructed coffin onto a trolley and wheel it into the chapel. The attendant checks the nameplate. This may be engraved, although roughly stuck-on labels written in felt-tipped pen are not unknown. Inside the chapel they may struggle to lift the body onto the catafalque, before it is wheeled away into the crematory. A few days later the ashes will be returned to the family for them to do as they wish with them. That’s basically it.

I understand that for some families this is seen to be a convenient and (relatively) cheap alternative to a funeral. Where a person has no living relatives, or where they were estranged from their family, a direct cremation could be regarded as preferable to an empty chapel with few or no mourners. There are certainly those who tell their families: “When I go, just put me in a cardboard box and shove me in a hole in the ground.” And yet from my experience it is often the case that afterwards close family come to regret not having had a decent send-off. I have been asked to speak at events organised some months later. It’s not the same. Whereas wider family and friends would make an effort to attend an actual funeral, it becomes less likely with the passing of time. Again the process of grieving is made all the more painful and fraught.

Where finances are a consideration, traditional firms of funeral directors will provide guidance on eligibility for a Funeral Payment from the government for those in receipt of one of a range of benefits - from Universal Credit and Pension Credit to Housing Benefit and Child Tax Credit. Funeral directors may be able to offer a small service in their own private chapel at a saving of several hundred pounds. As a funeral minister I will waive my professional fee in cases of particular hardship.

Whilst it may have a superficial appeal, direct cremation brings with it a host of pastoral and emotional dangers that will only become more evident with time. I believe now is the time to draw again on the wisdom of the ages and to appreciate and experience the pastoral and spiritual value of a “proper” funeral.